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Tom's avatar

I dreamed a dream:

Dateline: October 29, 2024 Palm Beach, FL

Donald Trump, a day after being found guilty in the January 6th federal trial, was located at his Mar-a-Lago beach house, having eluded authorities for 24 hours, by being spirited out of a Washington, D.C. courthouse disguised as an ungainly sack of grotesque Halloween decorations and pumpkins.

He was re-arrested after a brief scuffle with FBI agents who were reportedly assaulted by a hail of overdone hamburgers and freedom fries.

Democrats expressed dismay as ketchup-splattered federal agents escorted a handcuffed Trump off the property, fearing that the rough handling might spur sympathy and tilt the coming election.

Veep nominee Gov. Kristi Noem, interrupted while filming a commercial for Illuminé, a cosmetic that promises a brighter and whiter hue to facial skin, said, “I haven’t seen any news and had not been following the trial and have no comment at this time”.

Democrats expressed dismay. When questioned why, a spokesman said, “Because we’re Democrats.”

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Susan McDonald's avatar

Thanks, Dan! I copied the part about not panicking into my notes app, because I know I will want to find it again!

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